Realisations and revelations.

That's a picutre I took in Melbourne. I love it haha.

I've been out of high school almost an entire year now and I'm starting to realise some things.
I feel I've changed a bit and definately grown up a bit.
And yet I look at some (some, not all...) of the people I went to school with, and they havn't changed a single bit. Immature. Selfish. Obsessed with trivial things. Gossip.

I've come to realise that you don't have to be extremely happy with everything to have a good life.
You just have to be at one with yourself.
My life is (contrary to what some people belive) not perfect, not at all, not even one tiny bit. There's alot of things I want, alot of things I wish were different. But, that's me, and I'm not going to be constantly down about the fact that my life isn't always how I want it to be.

We spent a very long time talking about all this in one of my tuts at uni on friday and it really got me thinking. All about how you don't need to be positively beaming and happy and excited all the time to have a good life. It's more important to be at one with yourself, and be able to say "It's ok that I'm sad/mad/angry/tired, and just becuase I feel sad/mad/angry/tired doesn't mean I don't have a good life."
Does that make sense? It does to me. That's all that matters.

As per always, my head's so full of thoughts I feel like I could explode, and now more than ever. It's hard to describe. So many thoughts, so so so many conflicting thoughts.
I should be at uni doing my art assignments right now. But I'm sitting here blogging. I feel like I have to or my brain will explode.

I totally hated myself on friday. And lately in general. I won't go into it but, I've come to realise there's no point to it. No point at all.

I'm sick of being involved in everything.
I'm sick of caring about things/trivial issues/people that don't effect me.
I'm sure as hell sick of having people in my life who don't treat me or my friends well.
I'm sick of trying to please everyone.
I want my life to be easier to live.
I'm so over people I know from school being selfish and fake all the time. Not everyone but just a few, not naming names either. Just people in general.
And they're so fake and they seem happy all the time, but then you see them doing selfish or immature things and you know they're only doing it because they're not at one with themselves, they're empty or shallow or lacking something. Probably love.

People don't realise cos I don't mention it but I have alot going on all the time and always have something on my mind. I have alot of self-related issues and I'm sick of not being happy with my life.
I need change.
I want to be at one with myself and ok with the fact that I am who I am.
It's hard to do.

I'm starting to feel at one with myself and that doesn't mean I'm extatically happy about everything.
Things arn't perfect and I'm slowly realising that that's fine.

AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE READING THIS BLOG AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M RAMBLING ON ABOUT. I NEED TO BLOG SO I'M BLOGGING. IT'S MY BLOG AND I'LL WRITE WHAT I WANT. So there.
The end of that.

In other news -
The rest of this week WILL BE AWESOME.
Clubbing with Jade thursday night. The Grates concert friday night.
Clubbing with Rachel and Darc saturday night.
PHOTOGRAPHY AT THE HIVE ON SUNDAY.
I'm gonna dye my hair tomorrow. Or tonight.
I'm gonna go get dressed and go to Rachel's now. We're gonna have a rad day.
Yay yay yay.

Also hello to anyone reading this. You probably think I'm insane now but whatever. Haha.
Hullo Matt. =]
Hullo Rachel! ILOVEYOU.
Hullo Sammy Bear.
Hullo Lexy. Imissyou <3

Also, HULLO OCTOBER! where has the year gone ?
Uggh this post'll say I posted it not today, cos I started writing this a few days ago and only just finished it.
It's wednesday october 1st. Yup.

The end.


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"Broken bones" - Birds of Tokyo
It's kinda how I feel sometimes...


Salute the army at hells hand,
Salute the reasons why.

My conscience it wades me,
With five-a-side,
I'll never get out,
I'll never make my stand.

And when I awake,
I'm not about to listen to them,
For I can't wait,
It's not about me.

Stare down the longest line,
Of course this is falling apart,
You fooled me like a rat trap baited,
But I, refuse to buy.

I'm shell-shocked and I've lost my sight.
But I can still hear you calling me.

And when I awake,
I'm not about to listen to them,
For I can't wait,
I'm not about to listen to...
I'm on a highway that leads to the end,
I'm on a highway that leads to the end,
I'm on a highway that leads to the end,
I'm on a highway that leads to...

These broken bones,
This busted smile,
My head it hurts,
I should be leaving now,
I hear your words,
They call my name,
I won't go back,
You must be outta your head.

You say I'm wrong,
You say I'm mad,
If I stay here,
I'll never make it back,
I hear your words,
They call my name,
I won't go back,
You must be outta your head,
You must be outta your head.

No one mourns the wicked.

So, Lex and I and our mums went to Melbourne.
18th - 22nd September.
It was WICKEDLY WONDERFUL AND FANTASTIC.
We went shopping one day for 9 HOURS STRAIGHT. 9 WHOLE HOURS. IT WAS GREAT AND NOW I'M REALLY REALLY POOR. Haha!
And we went to the Queen Victoria Markets and the Shouthbank markets AND LEX AND I WENT TO THE AQUARIUM AND IT WAS RAD. The fishes go gloop. Had to be there haha.
Lex and I hit up Fitzroy and Brunswick Street. Melbourne has a Brunswick Street! So GOOD AND EVERY SHOP WAS SO SO SO INDIE AND LOCAL AND HANDMADE.
And we went to this fantastic exotic pet shop near the Queen Victoria markets. They had everything from turtles to snakes to spiders and fish AND EVEN ... SUGAR GLIDERS! The store was amazing buuuut I'm pretty sure selling sugar gliders as pets is pretty illegal.

WICKED. We went and saw Wicked and it was PHENOMINAL. We were in the fifth row and it was just amazing. The acting, singing, dancing, costumes, set and not to mention the music, provided by a live band who were sitting under the stage! IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND FANTASTIC.
And aww man, the actors and actresses voices were BRILLIANT. Millsy was fantastic and totally swoon-worthy. Hahaha! =]

We ate at some cool places and had so much coffee and tea and wine and chocolate and pasta. Haha!
And our hotel was nice. Mum and I stayed there last year so that was good.
AND AWW MAN I LOVE THE TRAMS. I wish Brisbane had trams, so easy to catch and they get you everywhere you need to be.
I'll chuck in a few photos too. I took about 500 in the time we were there haha.
I love taking photos.

And I bought so many new clothes and a bag, a scarf and TWO PAIRS OF CHUCKS.

So yes.
Melbourne and Wicked were grrrrrreat.
I could go on and on forever.
But I won't.
So many memories. So many awesome things in Melbourne. I've been twice now, I want to go back there every year.
It's such a great place.

Indie Indie Indie.

Hullo everyone!
(Who even reads my posts anymore? If you read them lemme know ok, that'd make my day. Alot.)

So I'm trying to write shorter blogs more often... When I remember. Haha.
Ok so yeah. Here goes. It'll probably end up long, but hey, who cares. It's my blog. I'll write what I want. Haha.

So, TOMORROW I'M OFF TO MELBOURNE FOR 5 DAYS WITH MY BEST MATE LEX AND OUR MUMS! We're going to go shopping and SEE WICKED ON SATURDAY and go out to lots of nice places to eat and whatnot.
It's going to be so rad. I'm so excited, if you can't already tell.
Part of the reason I wanted to blog was to let some of my excitement out, cos I fear I might explode. Haha.
I'm all packed and I'm so excited I don't even feel like going to bed. I'm like a little kid on christmas eve haha.
So yes, Melbourne will rock. Hardcore.

In other news..
I've handed in a bunch of uni assignments lately. I don't want most of the marks back. I hope I passed everything.
I always expect the worst and usually end up doing pretty well but this time I'm not sure. I really want good marks to keep my GPA up so I can get into Photography next year.
And I found a friend in my art class who's also leaving to do photography next year! So rad. Yep.

Speaking of photography - at work yesterday I set up a mini photo studio with a fabric back drop and everything! I took photos of all of our current puppy pre-school pups. So cute! Some of them turned out pretty well, others not so good, but overall I'm happy with the photos considering it was my first time and most of the puppies were too excited to sit still for even a second. I'll dump some photos in this blog for you all to see the cute-ness and my photography skillz, yo. Haha. Blogger is being a bitch and won't let me upload all of my photos. Gah. It let me do three, one at a time but took foreverr. I give up.

What else.. Umm.. Oh yeah! HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY TODAY: Recieving a MASSIVELY long comliment from my art tutor. Haha! I won't re-count it all word for word, but man, it was AWESOME.
Right, so, I don't think much of my art and my high school are teacher pretty much hated everything I made, so to hear my art tutor at uni give me compliments on my work was just amazing. And I don't care if it sounds stupid or like I'm up myself cos I know I'm not. It was just really assuring to get so many massive compliments from my art tutor. When other students say: "Oh that's really cool." I'm like: "Oh, haha, thankyou!" and don't think too much of it (unless it's a close friends who says it). But coming from my art tutor, it means alot to me. Always.
He said so many awesome things about how inspiring my art is, how it's so great that I experiement with so many interesting mediums, and how I always have so much ambition and drive and enthusiasm for my projects and ideas etc etc etc. He even said infront of the class, "Now, what Louise has done here with her work is just great, what she's done with the experimentation is above and beyond. What she's created and experimented with is at the level I am expecting from all of you" (or something very very similar to that)
I was like: BASHFUL BASHFUL BASHFUL. I just like, wow. I can't really describe it.
My art tutor is one of my fave teachers ever so it meant alot coming from him, considering how little I usually think of myself.
AND! My tutor even said (for the millionth time) that I really should change my degree and go and do a Bachelor of Visual Arts, and he said I wouldn't even need to do a protfolio, he'd just pull some strings and let me in!
AND THE FINAL THING I WANNA SAY ON THIS TOPIC IS: MY ART TUTOR CALLED ME INDIE, AMOUNG A MILLION OTHER AWESOME THINGS, INDIE. He said my art is indie. He said I was indie. And then he was all like: "I can't wait to see what indie artworks you come up with for your final project". Man, being called indie by your art teacher is so cool.

Moving right along... MY WEEKEND WAS RADCORE. I went to the Valley Fiesta friday night, and then went and saw Josh Pyke at the Zoo. Such a great night out!
And saturday night I saw The Frets and RO. Also really really awesome, as always. I was in the front row and RO played for a solid hour and I got some AWEEEEESOME photos. And Sam was there. Hi Sam.

ALSO! I GOT A FACEBOOK! Like a week ago, I decided to finally jump on the Facebook bandwagon after contemplating joining for a long while. I must say, I was rather disapointed. Like, Facebook's pretty good, but it's just like a grown up version of Myspace. Myspace for old people I call it.
And I totally HATE how random people from school that I know of but have never actually had a conversation with KEEP ADDING ME. YOU DON'T KNOW ME BITCHES, SO WHAT'S THE DEAL? Just cos you want to me about to say you have 188532234533456763228 friends on Facebook doesn't make you cool.
Ugh.

And what else.. I love my uni friends and my art Uni friends and my twin and Lex and Jade. Love them all. Alot.

That's about it for now from me I think.
Hope this blog was good reading material. Lol.
Probably wasn't but I feel better now I've blogged so ya.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Bye
<3

My adoptive mannequins are taller than me.

So, my mate James works for Esprit. He called me last night, asking if I wanted any mannequins for free, so today I went in with a family friend in his giant 7 seater car and we picked up as many mannequins as we could fit in the car.

They are super fun to play with. And taller and thinner than me.
Lol.

Mum reckons I'll have nightmares but I don't. I think they are rad and it's kinda surreal but cool having mannequins of my own all of a sudden. They're worth about $300 each for the whole ones. I have two whole ones and some extra torsos and spare arms. I probs won't keep all the extra torsos though.
It was super fun leaving the store with them all on a trolley and getting funny looks from people.
And then driving home with a car full of mannequins, good times.

Anywho.

IN OTHER NEWS:- Uhhh Uni is ok. I was dumb last week and left my giant art assignment until two days before it was due. Go me.
My other assignment went ok, my interview. Except my computer won't burn cds, instead just eats them and makes them corrupt, which isn't useful when both of my assignments had parts that had to be handed in on cd. Oh well. Rachel saved the day for my art assignment and burnt my powerpoint presentation on a disc at her house for me. I love Rachel.
- I have two RO gigs I'm going to this week on thursday and saturday. I'm excited. It'll be gooood. Even if I go alone, I don't even care lol. And I'm going out with Ree and Lex and I don't know who else on frday night. Should be good. =]
- I'M GOING TO MELBOURNE WITH LEXY AND OUR MUMS NEXT THURSDAY. THATS 9 DAYS AWAY! I'M SO FREKAING EXCITEDDDD. WICKEDWICKEDWICKEDWICKED!
- Went to an unofficial work party/get together/drinking and bitching session on saturday night. It was fun as, except when Melinda stood up and the big wooden picnic table we were all sitting at flipped up and all the alcohol on the table landed on me. Mmmm vodka punch flavoured jeans.
- I got lots of new music from Lexy. It's great. I love her to bits. =]
- I washed my car today. It was filthy and full of dirt and pine needles and leaves cos it's always parked outside. It's clean and shiny now. Go me.
- I keep running into random people I know at uni and in the city. It's really great.
- Work is annoying me a bit. I like it but I'm so over working EVERY saturday.
- Rachel and I went super-speed fabric shopping yesterday! We got fabric for me, she's going to make me a dress. It's gonna be black and white vertically striped, with purple straps and a bow on the back. =] She's got sewing skillz.
- I got my cons I bought off Ebay from the post office on friday, ILOVETHEMALOT. They're cute and comfy. And only cost $49 plus $11 postage. Still loads cheaper than the shops. They're rad. There's a picture of them in this blog. Above what you're reading now. I'm still on a mission to buy the red and white striped extra high ones though. I will buy some, hopefully in Melbourne next week. (I love being able to say that, "In Melbourne in next week") Haha.

I think that's it for now in terms of news.

This blog's rant topic: FATHERS DAY.
I hate commercial holidays. I really do. I always have. Ever since I was old enough to know Santa wasn't real. These stupid commercial holidays make things worse, not better.
Christmas, easter, valentines day, mothers day and fathers day do nothing but burn a whole in your savings account and make you realise how disfunctional your family really is.
Like, who really needs commercial holidays? If there's someone meaningful in your life (partner, mother, father, sister, brother etc etc etc) they should know you love and appreciate them every day of the year, not just on a stupid commerical holiday that makes them spend money on stupid gifts you don't need.
And you know, so what if me hating commerical holidays makes osme people think I'm evil. I'm not evil. I just think stupid made up commercial holidays are a waste of money. For fathers day, my stepdad said he wanted this book, so mum went out and bought it and gave it to me to give to him on fathers day, like, man, why bother. I appreciate mum's trying to keep the faimly together, but honestly, it just seems so silly to me, gifts on made up holidays. The only bonus of fathers day on the weekend was that I got to take some neat snapshots of Sandgate Beach.

Also, second but smaller rant for this blog - I'm totally over being called emo and/or goth by my family and co-workers. My friends know I'm not emo or goth but that's what I am to my family and co-workers. The token "emo/goth alternative" one. Like, wtf people. So what if I wear cons and band tshirts and have a nose piercing. This does not by any means make me goth or emo. Gosh darn retards with their warped views on things. If they think I'm emo and/or goth, they've got another thing coming.

The end.