Realisations and revelations.

That's a picutre I took in Melbourne. I love it haha.

I've been out of high school almost an entire year now and I'm starting to realise some things.
I feel I've changed a bit and definately grown up a bit.
And yet I look at some (some, not all...) of the people I went to school with, and they havn't changed a single bit. Immature. Selfish. Obsessed with trivial things. Gossip.

I've come to realise that you don't have to be extremely happy with everything to have a good life.
You just have to be at one with yourself.
My life is (contrary to what some people belive) not perfect, not at all, not even one tiny bit. There's alot of things I want, alot of things I wish were different. But, that's me, and I'm not going to be constantly down about the fact that my life isn't always how I want it to be.

We spent a very long time talking about all this in one of my tuts at uni on friday and it really got me thinking. All about how you don't need to be positively beaming and happy and excited all the time to have a good life. It's more important to be at one with yourself, and be able to say "It's ok that I'm sad/mad/angry/tired, and just becuase I feel sad/mad/angry/tired doesn't mean I don't have a good life."
Does that make sense? It does to me. That's all that matters.

As per always, my head's so full of thoughts I feel like I could explode, and now more than ever. It's hard to describe. So many thoughts, so so so many conflicting thoughts.
I should be at uni doing my art assignments right now. But I'm sitting here blogging. I feel like I have to or my brain will explode.

I totally hated myself on friday. And lately in general. I won't go into it but, I've come to realise there's no point to it. No point at all.

I'm sick of being involved in everything.
I'm sick of caring about things/trivial issues/people that don't effect me.
I'm sure as hell sick of having people in my life who don't treat me or my friends well.
I'm sick of trying to please everyone.
I want my life to be easier to live.
I'm so over people I know from school being selfish and fake all the time. Not everyone but just a few, not naming names either. Just people in general.
And they're so fake and they seem happy all the time, but then you see them doing selfish or immature things and you know they're only doing it because they're not at one with themselves, they're empty or shallow or lacking something. Probably love.

People don't realise cos I don't mention it but I have alot going on all the time and always have something on my mind. I have alot of self-related issues and I'm sick of not being happy with my life.
I need change.
I want to be at one with myself and ok with the fact that I am who I am.
It's hard to do.

I'm starting to feel at one with myself and that doesn't mean I'm extatically happy about everything.
Things arn't perfect and I'm slowly realising that that's fine.

AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE READING THIS BLOG AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M RAMBLING ON ABOUT. I NEED TO BLOG SO I'M BLOGGING. IT'S MY BLOG AND I'LL WRITE WHAT I WANT. So there.
The end of that.

In other news -
The rest of this week WILL BE AWESOME.
Clubbing with Jade thursday night. The Grates concert friday night.
Clubbing with Rachel and Darc saturday night.
PHOTOGRAPHY AT THE HIVE ON SUNDAY.
I'm gonna dye my hair tomorrow. Or tonight.
I'm gonna go get dressed and go to Rachel's now. We're gonna have a rad day.
Yay yay yay.

Also hello to anyone reading this. You probably think I'm insane now but whatever. Haha.
Hullo Matt. =]
Hullo Rachel! ILOVEYOU.
Hullo Sammy Bear.
Hullo Lexy. Imissyou <3

Also, HULLO OCTOBER! where has the year gone ?
Uggh this post'll say I posted it not today, cos I started writing this a few days ago and only just finished it.
It's wednesday october 1st. Yup.

The end.


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"Broken bones" - Birds of Tokyo
It's kinda how I feel sometimes...


Salute the army at hells hand,
Salute the reasons why.

My conscience it wades me,
With five-a-side,
I'll never get out,
I'll never make my stand.

And when I awake,
I'm not about to listen to them,
For I can't wait,
It's not about me.

Stare down the longest line,
Of course this is falling apart,
You fooled me like a rat trap baited,
But I, refuse to buy.

I'm shell-shocked and I've lost my sight.
But I can still hear you calling me.

And when I awake,
I'm not about to listen to them,
For I can't wait,
I'm not about to listen to...
I'm on a highway that leads to the end,
I'm on a highway that leads to the end,
I'm on a highway that leads to the end,
I'm on a highway that leads to...

These broken bones,
This busted smile,
My head it hurts,
I should be leaving now,
I hear your words,
They call my name,
I won't go back,
You must be outta your head.

You say I'm wrong,
You say I'm mad,
If I stay here,
I'll never make it back,
I hear your words,
They call my name,
I won't go back,
You must be outta your head,
You must be outta your head.