Uncertain times + ITC Day 25 update

Hello bloggers.

You're reading the blog of one very unhappy little squirrel.

The photo at the top is one I took of a gorgeous bunch of tulips the girls at work go tme on monday, man, I love those girls so much.

Things arn't going as planned, at all.
I don't even know what to write.
I'm exhausted in every sense of the word... emotionally, physically, spritually.

And to top everything off I'm failing rather dismally at the ITC at the moment. No motivation nor time to actually get to the gym.
There's only a couple of days left of February and even though I started out so well and had the best intentions things arn't going well at all right now.

Things suck.
Work (or lack there of...). Uni. Friends. Family... The fact I haven't been to the gym in almost a week. The fact that I'm now realising I'm not sure I'll be able to afford to do Photography at uni, sure, I can Hex the actual course fees but there's literally hundreds and hundres of dollars worth of other equipment I need to buy, plus books, and paying for camp.
I don't want to write anything else.
It'd just be terrible and negative even more so than what I've written already.

I'm overwhelmed, exhausted, frightened, angry, sad, unorganised, completely lacking in all self confidence and totally heart broken.
The constant feeling that I'm about to vomit is not a pleasant one, and crying takes up alot of energy on top of that.

On a brighter note I had my first day at Griffith today.
Photography is so intense at Griffith.
I'm freaking out.
At least I've already got a gorgeous DSLR to work with, most people enrolled in the course don't even own a camera yet.
I was amazed that some people could enrol in a course such as the Bahcelor of Photography on a whim.
The staff and older photography students say the drop out rate for first and second year kids is about 50%. That alone makes me nervous.
I so desperately want to succeed because I'm so passionate about photography, but things don't always turn out how we want them to, the past few days have shown me that, so now I'm just lacking on confidence and uncertain about absolutely everything in my life.

I haven't felt this depressed and out of sorts in about.. I dunno, 6 months? A year maybe ?
I'm sure things will change for the better, soon, but right now things are pretty doom and gloom.
I rhymed.
I'm so lame.
An yway I'm sure I'll be back to my normal awesomecore self soon... I hope.
I do know that life is far too short to worry too much about anything and be miserable, but right now it's virtually impossible to feel otherwise.
I need someone to bottle me up some sunshine so I can drink it and soak it all in and feel happy again.

The end.

p.s I'm STILL sick. I've spent 4 out fo the last 5 weeks being sick.
Bleh.
The world hates me, for some reason, and I don't even know what I've done wrong.

p.p.s I'm totally addicted to two bands right now, on top of all my regulars I'm now addicted to The Week That Was, and also Port O'Brien. Check 'em out on myspace if you don't know who they are.

Have a nice weekend.

Good evening readers!

So, yet again, I'm sick... Oh joy.
It's such a watse of time.

Today:
Woke up at 11am, read for a while.
Went to the shops to get cold and flu drugs.
Came home, took the drugs and some multivitamins, ate some toast and watched tv for 7 hours (like 6 eps of Sex and The City, followed by the Sex and The City movie! Haha! So glam!)
Blew my nose and coughed alot in between drinking as much water as I could.
Ate dinner... which made me fill ill.
And now I'm sitting here, trying to make up for lost time by tidying my room and making lists of things I need to do when I can breathe out of more than one nostril.

When I went to the chemist to get cold and flu drugs today I could hardly breathe nor talk in complete sentences. I felt like I was one of the used kleenex tissues that are overflowing from the bin under my desk. It was obvious I was really sick, and so I quickly explained my symptoms to the pharmasist, got my drugs and went to leave, when the pharmasist goes "Thankyou, have a nice weekend."
I could have strangled her. I felt like death itself and she told me to have a nice weekend.
Like. Who. Does. That.
Gah!

Seriously, I mean, obviously she says that to everyone but it takes less than one second to look at me and instantly know I'm not going to be having a good weekend.
Seriuosly lady, if I can manage to remember lame little bits of information about my customers at work, surely you can look at me and realise I will not, by any stretch of the imagination, be having a good weekend.
Honestly.

Anyway, that's my rant for today.
I am a walking snot machine and when I cough people go: "Oh my god, are you ok?" Cos my cough sounds like there is a monster inside my lungs trying to escape.
I have Lily Allen on repeat, I'm going to take some more drugs and go and read "Looking for Alaska" by John Green some more. At least the characters in the book are having a nice weekend.
I should be at Josh Pyke right now, but I'm not, obviously, because well, you know.. I can hardly breathe through all this mucus. I mean, it's not that big of a deal because I've seen Josh Pyke 4 times already but still, I hate being sick and I'd rather be out at the Tiv enjoying myself than being home drowning in my own mucus.
Joy.

So, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend whilst I'm lying in bed feeling sorry for myself.
G'night.
xx

p.s Here's a polyvore set I made a week or two ago. I really like it.
I want to put that outfit on and go for drinks with Carrie Bradshaw.


Little Black - by Louchasy on Polyvore.com

TiLT - Week Fifteen!

So, yes, I know it's friday but I was super busy yesterday and didn't get time to post my TiLT! I had it written in dot point form but that's about as far as I got...



So here's what I was loving yesterday/this week -

MY NEW KODAK DISPOSABLE UNDERWATER CAMERA! Alison bought me a disposable camera, and oh man, it gave me so many hours of enjoyment! I took it with me when we went on holidays to the beach and had alot of fun with it. All the photos will probably be terrible and blurry but man it kept me entertained for such a long time! Haha! When I got home, I still had 3 exposures left, so I shoved the camera into my fish tank and took pictures of my fish with it! Haha! Thanks Al <3

HOLIDAYING TO THE NORTH COAST WITH MY BESTIES! Alison, Jade, Rach and I went up to the north coast to join Jack, Dan and Nathan at Alex Heads for a few days! It was SO great. I didn't want to come home and I wish I could've stayed longer. I had alot of fun swimming in the ocean, the multiple pools at the resort, hanging out with my mates, drinking, running around and going shopping with my lovelies :D Best three days everrr.

USING MY DIGITAL CAMERA TO DEATH WHILST ON HOLIDAYS! I took about 560 shots on my Panasonic Lumix whilst on holidays. It was hilarious fun and some of them are actually really cool. I've put a few photos from the trip into this blog for your enjoyment!

SHOPPING WITH MY THREE FAVE GIRLS ALL AT ONCE! Al, Rach, Jd and I went shopping for 5 hours the second day we were at Alex Heads, cos it was raining. I had suuuuuuch a great day (until I starting feeling really really ill, but nevermind) it was such fun. I bought lots of things too. But they're getting their own spot in my TiLT list.

MY NEW DRESS, SKIRT AND SHORTS, PLUS JEWELLERY AND MAKE UP! As I said before, shopping was greaaaaaaat with my girls. I found this particular dress I've been drooling over on the internet at Forever21.com for aggges, and it was in Ally! For $25! So I bought it. I'm obsessed with it. I wore it last night :D

GETTING MARRIED TO DAN ON FACEBOOK! Hilarious, hilarious! One night on holidays we were all chatting aobut babies and marriage and who was dating who, and Dan and I were sitting next to each other, so we were all like: "We'll always have each other!" Then I propsed to Dan via facebook. Caused quite a large amount of hilariousness for the few days we were married on facebook. Unfortunately once I got back home I divorced Dan. We'll re-kindle our love on our next sexy beach holiday Dan.
*** Edit : Apparently Rachel told us to get married? I don't remember that but maybe yeah? I dunno. Point is, I proposed over Facebook.

BEING HOME ALONE! It's been in my TiLT lists before, but man, I LOVE IT SO FREAKING MUCH. I want to live alone so badly.

JACK SAYING I'VE CHANGED! For the better, of course. Jack said I'm more grown up but in a good way.. I dunno how cos I've always been the mother duck but I think he meant that I'm more open to things now. Which is great. Thanks Jackus <3

EVERYTHING (WELL ALMOST) THAT MY THREE FAVE GIRLS SAY BEING ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! Jade, Al and Rach.. amn, you three float my boat and make me laugh like no one else can! Our three days up the coast were spent laughing, the whole time (pretty much). It was great.
Favourite quotes include:

"Shorncliffe is just like Strathpine.. but it's near the beach" - Jade when we were talking about suburbs we want to live in on the drive to the coast. you heard it here first.

"Wow, this car is so heavy... It's so full of ladies! It's at maximum lady capacity!" - Alison, again, on the drive up with Jd, Rach and I.

"Oh look, it's a van full of army men.." - Me. "OH SWEET! FLASH THEM YOUR TITS LOUISE! If I wasn't driving I would!" - Jade. LOL.

"You have one new relationship request.. *Clicks accept* You are now the spouse of louise Wright.. Wow.. now we're married!" - Dan. And continuing with the topic of love and marriage... "Yeah well, it's not rape if you are married!" *seedy glance at Lou* - Dan.

"Excuse me Alison, my clouds are in your vag." - Jade during craft hour in our resort room.

"Oh shit, my boob vibrated like 5 minutes ago and I didn't even realise!" - Alison likes to keep her phone in her bra alot.

"Are any of you with Optus? I have alot of Optus to Optus credit.." - Me. "I'M WITH OPTUS! YOU CAN CALL MY BOOB!" - Alison. Like I said, she keeps her phone in her bra.

"Just get in the fucking cupboard bitch!" - Jade. Alison was procrastinating about getting into the dark cupboard to change her film in her lomo.

Man, I wish I'd written more down but I didn't! SO HILARIOUS THOUGH. They probably make no sense to anyone else but they make me laugh SO MUCH.
There was also alot of in jokes about USBs. LOL. VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV.

And that's the end of my TiLT!


Hello readers!Oh, wait - extra things that deserve a mention - chickos (the lolly kind), home made tacos, diet soft drinks for 23 cents, new bikinis that are zebra print and sun screen.

And, yet again I am sick. Oh yes.
I feel foul.
I'm going to bed.

THE END!
<3

Dan and Lou talk ideal girlfriends, I show you some of my RO photos.

Hello bloggers!

This made me chuckle.
Dan and I, as per usual, chatting about relationships -

*~| on holidays... FUCK YEAH |~* sent 15/02/2009 10:06 PM:
i dont really mind relationships
L O U C H Λ Ƨ Υ says:
bleh.. they're lame.
*~| on holidays... FUCK YEAH |~* sent 15/02/2009 10:06 PM:
but people in general are shit
*~| on holidays... FUCK YEAH |~* sent 15/02/2009 10:07 PM:
pudding wud be my ideal gf
*~| on holidays... FUCK YEAH |~* sent 15/02/2009 10:07 PM:
its best when its hot, always tastes good and never is a bitch about anything
*~| on holidays... FUCK YEAH |~* sent 15/02/2009 10:07 PM:
and its sweet too.

Dan, you're hilarious.
Pudding would be a great girlfriend. Always smelling and tasting great, great to keep you cool in summer, will never say "I told you so" or "Don't drink that from the bottle"... and you can just put her in the fridge when you've had enough.
Lol.

I'm going on holidays for a few days tomorrow, so farewell internet land!
I'll have major withdrawl sysmptoms but my mates will keep me distracted I'm sure.
I'm a dork.

On a side note - Repeat Offender's last show,as I've mentioned, was amazing! I've chucked a few snaps I took on the night into this blog for you all to see. I'm still in awe from that night. RO are amazing.

Also - another web site Calum introduced me to - Got Wisdom! It's rather hilarious and true. Thanks for linking me to that one Calum!

Night all!
xx

ITC Day 13 - Update

Hello my lovelies!

Just a quick update on my progress for the Icing Transformation Challenge -

I've been to the gym 4 times this week! GO ME! Three of which Jade was there with me! I went alone this morning... the gym was totally empty except for me. So weird but good!
So, I've been working my butt off at the gym for a grand total of 4 hours and 50 minutes THIS WEEK. GO ME.
The whole eating right thing isn't going that well, I've been kinda bad lately with the whole eating at regular intervals thing but oh well. I'll get there!

I've been going to the gym since January 14th! One whole month of gym-ing as of tomorrow. I've been 11 times since Jan 14th.. Including when I took a whole week off because I was sick. Haha.

Anywho!

I hope any of you who are reading this and are also doing the ITC are doing well too! We're almost at the half way mark! YEWWW!

That's all I wanted to say for now.
Read my TiLT. I put alot of effort into that. Haha.

Miss Gym-tastic
xx

TiLT - Week FOURTEEN!

Hello regular blog readers and anyone else out there!


Welcome to WEEK FOURTEEN of my regular TiLT-ing!

Here's the random bunch of things that I'm loving this week (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER) -

- This comment from Jade: "I know it sounds bad, but I just don't want to smell like an Indian woman" totally random, we were talking about perfume though. I laughed my ass off. Had to be there I guess.














- REPEAT OFFENDER. OH MAN. I love them so freaking much. Their last show ever was last night, it was epic. I got a new cd, the set list from Ryan, a drum stick from Dane and a group photo with the lot of them. It was an epic show and they were so wonderful when they played. I'm still in awe. I can't believe they're over and yet still so amazing. It was also really lovely to catch up with my regular RO girls - Manda, KC, Larry, Ell and Renae! :) And nice to see Rachi too. Wicked funnn. Photo taken by me.













- Great great great friends who love me. Jade, Rach, Alison, Dan, Jack, Cal, Crystal, and Caitey in particular this week. Man you all fricking rock. Thanks for having me over last night Rachi! The photo is of Dan, Jack and I with Narelle's bras on our heads, taken by Al. Hahahahaa.

- Getting mail from Griffith twice and QUT once! Crazy insane. I have so much mail. All the mail from Griffith is completely overwhelming to the point where I want to explode, but it's exciting too.

- New cds! I got three last night - Vincent, Artic, and RO. YAY NEW BRISBANE MUSIC. FUEL FOR MY OBSESSION.

- An Horse and Sparkadia posters stolen from The Zoo. It's becoming a habit. I stole a Sparkadia poster from the ladies toilets. I'm total class.

- TAKING PHOTOS OF EVERYTHING. Photos from work of people and animals and our new stock, photos from RO's last show, and like.. everything. I've been obsessed for ages and my obsession is growing. Everything is interesting and I want to photograph it. Colours and shapes are interesting, so is live music and animals and people and omg fashion. I'm in love.

- Continuing on in talking about mail from Griffith, enlosed in a big "Welcome to the Bahcelor of Photography" package, there was a letter about Photography CAMP. I'm going to go on ART CAMP. WTF MATE. I'm excited, but like man, 6 years of BAND camp at high school and now I'm going to ART camp at Uni, like, what?!













- Drunk nights with close friends. Monday night at Dan's was hilarious. Thanks for coming Catiey! <3 Sorry about your phone man.

- Saturday night at Narelle's! NICE TO MEET YOU NARELLE. I THINK YOU'RE COOL. Jade played with fire alot. Hense the photo, I stole it from Narelle's facebook, the photo was too brilliant not to steal. Haha.

- Getting into gear for uni! Just continuing on with all this Griffith madness, they also sent me a list of the things I need to buy. I'm mega excited, but I'm going to be flat broke for a very, very long time.

- OUT OF THE BLUE PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM DANE THANKING ME FOR SUPPRTING AND WORKING WITH RO ALL THIS TIME. Freaking made my day, so much. THANKYOU DANE AND THANKYOU RO. <3















- Continuing on with the chat about RO - Playing RO on 99.7fm radio with Jade tonight! Man, it was so great, I love going to radio with Jade, and I love RO. Best combination ever. The photo is of me and RO from last night.

-Mario teaches us about relationships. Thankyou Calum, this is HILARIOUS!

- Random people adding me on facebook that are friends of friends and fans of RO. Man, you are cool. And you complimented me, like, wow.

-This and anddd this in particular. FML rocks and sucks all at once. Good if you want to be shallow and laugh at other people’s troubles to cheer you up. Some weird shit happens to people. Thanks to Cal for recommending it to me, haha. Just click the first link and see.

Ok I'm done TiLTing now.
I've realised the list this week is very RO and Griffith focused. Haha.
Oh well!

Until next time!
xx

A roof top crow's nest in a sea swell, oh yes I can see so well.

Good evening bloggers!

I'm in an odd mood, I had an odd weekend... and it's REALLY hot! Gah!
Bad shift at work on saturday, fun times saturday night and today is kind of bland.
And, I'm STILL sick. Runny nose just won't quit. It's driving me nuts.

I'm kinda failing at the ITC, like, alot. Being sick I haven't done much, and haven't been going to the gym much at all. Annnd I've been eating not good foods. I suck. Lol. Next week will be better, I swear. Gym tomorrow. And lots of fresh fruit and veg is in order. Yes ma'am.

I've been slowly starting to update my DeviantArt account, I've got over 200 deviations on there and my galley is a mess, I'm trying to sort it out. It's SO time consuming trying to sort everything out and delete all the junk deviations! Gah! You can check out my stuff HERE if you like.

On another note I really want a dress that's like a tank top/singlet at the top with a scooped neck line, then a skirt on the bottom. They're everywhere at the moment and I want one of my own so badly!


Howl - by Louchasy on Polyvore.com

I'm now Polyvore obsessed. I'm getting better at it I think. This is my most recent set I've made.. wolf inspired! I like it. Polyvore is so vain but so so so addictive!

So, apart from all this sickness, lack of exercise and internet obsessions, I've just been working lots and writing to do lists. There's so many things I need to do that I just keep putting off. Examples include: sanding and re-painting my bedroom wall, getting ready for uni, gettting my green p plate license, tiding out my whole room.. Etc. Bleh. Not enough hours in a day to do all these things as well as work, go to the gym and have a social life!
Things are going to be nuts when Uni goes back.. I'm so used to doing what I like when I like and not really having to be up at any particular time - Uni is going to be hard to adjust back into I think.

In other news, things I'm looking forward to are as follows: Repeat Offender's last ever gig this wednesday, GOING AWAY TO THE NORTH COAST FOR THREE DAYS with some of my most favourite people in a few weeks, Josh Pyke concert in a few weekends, and Brittish India two days before that, then, the week after all of those things I've got O week at Uni, then the week after that CLASSES start! Oh my gosh.
Where have all my holidays gone?!
Seems like it was November only yesterday, and now it's almost March! SCARY.

Anywho, I don't have much else to say for now! I'm going to go to bed!
Until next time faithful readers (how many of you are there anyway? I wish there was some magical way I could find out who every single person was that read my blog!)
<3

p.s The blog title is some song lyrics from An Horse. I'm in mega love with them, and The Paper and The plane (but that's nothing new.)

TiLT - WEEK THIRTEEN!

Hello blog readers!

I've been sick for exactly one week now, it's driving me nuts.
I'm getting better now but I have zero energy and zero motivation to do anything. I'm quite happy to sit around in my pjs and do nothing all day today.
Yep.

Nevertheless, here's the things I'm loving this week -

- FANTASTIC OUTINGS TO THE ZOO. I had a brilliant time at The Zoo last night, An Horse and The Paper and The Plane were FANTASTIC! Jd and Rach and I went, and Alison and Claire and Simon were there and a few other people we knew! I love it when there's lovely people in unexpected places! And I bought An Horse's new cd, I'm loooooving it! And I bought a Paper and The Plane tshirt for only $10, becuase Mr Lead singer of The Paper and The Plane who was selling their merch didn't know how much his own tshirts were for sale for. Hahahahaa.

- WRITING LISTS AND WHATNOT. I have a habit of writing lists everyday. And my 101 things in 1001 days list is coming along nicely, I've done/started about one third of the things on the list, which is a pretty great acheivement I think. I'm proud of me.

- GOING TO RADIO WITH JADE! I mentioned it in last week's TiLT - I went to radio with Jade and had super fun times. I'm going again tonight and I'm excited, mostly cos I get to spend time with one of my favourite people <3

- NEW THINGS! I treated myself a few days ago to a little bit of shopping! I bought loads of cute new Bonds underwear, an eyelash curler, make up remover and loads of Powerade. Weird combination of items but I wanted them all so there. Buying things is pretty fun.

- ORGANISING MY UNI ENROLLMENT AND O WEEK AT GRIFFITH! I've done my timetable and my o week schedule, wooh! Well, I've done as much of my timetable as I can for the moment, they've messed up one of my classes - Modernism and Post Modernism, and it clashes with one of my other tutorials. Oh well. They'll fix it. Anywho, I'm super nervous and excited all at once. I've also realised there's like eleventy million things I don't know about photography and cameras. I'm keen to learn.

- Honourable mentions - powerade, strawberry milk, vanilla yogurt, new music, stealing posters from The Zoo, wearing my converse boots, putting fabric bows I've made in my hair, and making plans to dye my hair crazy colours.

My list isn't very long this week because I've been sick since last thursday so all I've done pretty much is sleep, blow my nose, see Jade and go to work.

I'm desperate to do something to my hair, colour-wise. I want it to be maroon/red with flamingo pink chunks. Oh yes. It will happen. Soon.

Hope you all had a fab week!
The end!
Love from snot face
xx

ZEBRA!

ZEBRA LOVE - by Louchasy on Polyvore.com

I've loved zebras since forever. I think they're really cool. I adore that hoodie! And it does have blue and pink on it if you look really closely, I didn't just add pink and blue into the set randomly. Anyway, pink and yellow go nicely together I think. I like this set I made on Polyvore. I would actually use/wear all of this stuff, oh yes! The hiptop with the zebra cover would be wicked cool. Oh so scene but I love it, hehe.

I don't really feel like writing much else.
I'm in an organising mood, sorting out my affairs and such.
Writing things in my diary, thinking about what's happening in this month.
I like writing to do lists. I write them everyday.
Tomorrow's list is huge.
I have alot of my mind and alot to do.
And, to top it all off, I'm still sick.

Oh and today is day one of the iCiNG Transformation Challenge. Read yesterday's post for more info. I'm too sick to exercise today but I'm at least making conscious decisions about what I'm eating, and I'm drinking lots of water.
Go me.

The end.
xx